{"id":14811,"date":"2025-09-25T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-09-25T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/holistic.news\/en\/?p=14811"},"modified":"2025-10-31T11:54:16","modified_gmt":"2025-10-31T10:54:16","slug":"fear-of-adulthood-in-youth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/holistic.news\/en\/fear-of-adulthood-in-youth\/","title":{"rendered":"Fear of adulthood in youth. How to face it."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Peter Pan syndrome. Adulthood postponed \u2014 fear of adulthood<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Anna Bobrowiecka:<\/strong> What is the nature of children\u2019s and teenagers\u2019 fear of adulthood, and where does it come from?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

*Marta Majorczyk, Ph.D.:<\/strong> Fear of adulthood is, above all, fear of duties and tasks \u2014 but also of the rights that come with adult life. It\u2019s anxiety tied to the vision of important functions, social roles, and developmental tasks. Adulthood means not only great freedom, but also a certain emotional maturity and the ability to take responsibility for one\u2019s actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In psychology, fear related to these aspects of adult life is associated with the so-called Peter Pan syndrome<\/strong>. This term describes people who refuse to truly, concretely enter adulthood \u2014 they want to avoid agency and consequences, remaining eternal children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The cause of this syndrome is usually very low self-esteem and a lack of self-belief. Ultimately, this fear largely comes down to what awaits us in the future \u2014 to the prospect of failures and setbacks. Today, social media significantly fuels such symptoms among young people. It often presents an unrealistic, idealized image of life \u2014 work, success, appearance, everyday routines, or parenting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You might like to read: <\/strong>Education Needs to Move Beyond Rankings. A Critical Look at PISA, PIRLS and TIMSS Tests<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A.B.:<\/strong> How common is the fear of adulthood among children and teenagers? One gets the sense they often have an idealized, unrealistic picture of adulthood. They\u2019re happy that they\u2019ll finally be free and able to live \u201ctheir own way.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

M.M.:<\/strong> From my observations and experience as a psychologist, fear of adulthood mainly concerns older teenagers. Younger children, still in elementary or high school<\/strong> and just entering puberty, generally don\u2019t think in such terms yet \u2014 they don\u2019t understand what adulthood is. As you said, they often very much want to \u201calready be adults,\u201d or rather to possess all the rights and freedoms of an adult. They don\u2019t yet understand that a variety of obligations, tasks, and consequences come with that. At this stage of a child\u2019s development, fear of adult life hardly appears at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It tends to arrive later, along with the approaching prospect of turning eighteen. Teenagers realize that their lives have already changed since early childhood. They can compare and notice differences \u2014 how their school activities and obligations used to look versus how they are now. They start to see that people change and to think more realistically about the future. The older they get, the more of that future they can perceive \u2014 they think in terms of 5<\/strong>, 10<\/strong>, or even 15<\/strong> years ahead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With eighth-graders I recently taught at a school, I asked them in May: \u201cWhat will you be doing in 5<\/strong> years?\u201d Believe me, they didn\u2019t grasp the category of 5<\/strong> years. At that stage, the word \u201cfuture\u201d tends to mean what they\u2019ll do in a week, two weeks, or at most in a year. They answered: \u201cIn a year I\u2019ll be at a different school,\u201d \u201cI\u2019ll keep studying,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019ll move.\u201d At that time in life, adulthood is too distant to imagine. Only when we truly enter adolescence \u2014 when we build identity and plans, when we think practically and realistically about a career path \u2014 can fear appear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019re afraid of entirely new situations and changes. Uncertainty sets in. Notice: in elementary or high school<\/strong>, everything is arranged for us. We don\u2019t have to handle or monitor things ourselves, because a certain order is given to us, imposed. After high-school graduation<\/strong>, when we start college or university<\/strong>, we get a first lesson in adult life, where everything depends on us. No one leads us by the hand anymore; everything can change; everything is fluid \u2014 and becomes what we take care to make it. Maybe we need to move. Maybe we need to start working and combine that with studies. These are big changes in a young person\u2019s life that can generate anxiety.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Fear
Fear of adulthood.<\/strong> Anxiety about growing up and fear of responsibility are rising among young people. An expert explains the Peter Pan syndrome and offers practical ways to overcome it. Photo: W. Wybranowski\/ChatGPT.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Fear of responsibility: you can overcome it<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

A.B.: How can a young person learn to cope with this fear?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

M.M.:<\/strong> First, it\u2019s worth keeping some distance from what we see on social media. It\u2019s full of unrealistic visions of success that shouldn\u2019t be compared to our real lives. Seeing that someone achieved great success can intensify, in a person with low self-esteem, the conviction: \u201cI\u2019m not enough, I\u2019m not good enough, I couldn\u2019t do that.\u201d Such a person begins to fear that they have no chance of fulfilling their dreams but are at risk of failure \u2014 so they start to withdraw and give up on growth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One way to cope with fear<\/a> is to practice mindfulness \u2014 focusing on the here and now and appreciating what we have. It\u2019s worth expressing gratitude for the good things that happen to us and concentrating on positives. Remember, too, that we can control what we genuinely influence. No one can arrange everything in life exactly as they wish. We must learn to let go. In theory this is obvious, but even adults often take a long time to learn it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Another crucial skill is planning and taking small steps. Instead of creating a grand, ambitious life plan for the next 10\u201315<\/strong> years, it\u2019s better to start keeping a planner or calendar<\/strong> in which we write down only what we want to do on a given day, week, or month. We can seek longer-term help from a good development coach or psychologist, but for such a plan to crystallize and succeed, we need to know ourselves well \u2014 to know what matters to us, what our values are, where we\u2019re heading, and what we want in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Something that may sound banal but is very important is maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Without physical activity and caring for our health and well-being, we\u2019re not able to fight fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally, it\u2019s very important to simply accept states of uncertainty. Uncertainty \u2014 like fear \u2014 is an inseparable part of life. These are normal, natural feelings in every human life. As we develop, including in adulthood, we will experience different fears. We cannot get rid of them; we can\u2019t uproot them. We can, however, learn to make those fears smaller, to tame them, to rationalize them, and \u2014 despite them \u2014 to act slowly and calmly. Sometimes, with deeper anxiety states, psychotherapy and pharmacotherapy are necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Worth reading: <\/strong>\u201cIt\u2019s Not Hormones.\u201d Expert Debunks the Biggest Myth About Teen Rebellion<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When the fear of adulthood blocks growth<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

A.B.: How do fears carried over from childhood affect later, adult life? Will such a person struggle to become independent at all<\/strong>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

M.M.:<\/strong> Much depends on what happens when a child experiences fear. Do they receive proper support? If so, there is a good chance that a young person will be able to work through those fears \u2014 which later becomes an asset. If, however, adults \u2014 caregivers, parents, teachers \u2014 reinforce the fear through improper educational and parenting practices, those fears will strengthen, and unfortunately new ones will accumulate. They will merge with one another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then we have a straight path to an emotional disorder, for example in the form of a phobia or generalized anxiety. A teenager who, at such an early stage of development, has a diagnosed anxiety disorder will not manage adulthood well. It will be an additional, serious burden in their life \u2014 one they can\u2019t handle alone and one that won\u2019t simply pass. The situation can vary greatly and depends, to a large extent, on how our childhood unfolded: whether we received adult support and whether there were no abuses or violations on their part.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A.B.: What then?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

M.M.:<\/strong> In that case, the state can be compared to keeping a proverbial \u201cskeleton in the closet.\u201d That \u201cskeleton\u201d is our fear, and the closet is our subconscious \u2014 a part of the psyche where we store content that influences our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Day to day, the skeleton is hidden deep, shut in the closet. We feel the weight, yet somehow keep moving forward. But at some point that \u201cweight\u201d falls out. One day we\u2019ll open the closet by accident \u2014 or someone else will, or some event will. And then it\u2019s hard to regain control, to put it back and mask it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Usually, at that point, a greater, longer psychological crisis occurs. Parenting is a perfect example. Will a woman with low self-esteem and constant fears see herself as a good mother? Can she give a child what she herself lacks? Such a mental state in a woman who becomes a mother is one of the most common causes of the so-called baby blues \u2014 postpartum depression.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And in the age of social media, which can present parenting and motherhood as an idyll, it\u2019s easy for such a woman to experience drama and total collapse. So it\u2019s very important to try to take care of ourselves as early as possible, to understand ourselves \u2014 and to learn to ask for support, even as we face the fear of adulthood<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

* Marta Majorczyk, Ph.D.<\/strong> \u2014 educator, family counselor, neuropsychologist, psychotherapist, and ODN trainer; researcher and longtime university lecturer who blends coaching, tutoring, and mentoring in practice. She focuses on family functioning (roles and life-cycle dynamics), education and upbringing, developmental care, and early-childhood care systems, with a special interest in values and ethics in the work of educators and psychologists. A regular contributor to professional journals, including Wczesna Edukacja<\/em>, Dyrektor Szko\u0142y<\/em>, Sygna\u0142y. Miesi\u0119cznik Wychowawcy<\/em>, Bli\u017cej Przedszkola<\/em>, and Newsweek Psychologia<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Explore the full conversation<\/em>:<\/em> M\u0142odzi w strachu przed doros\u0142o\u015bci\u0105. Dlaczego tak bardzo boj\u0105 si\u0119 \u017cy\u0107?<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cUncertainty \u2014 like fear \u2014 is an inseparable part of life. These feelings are normal and natural in every human life. As we develop, including in adulthood, we will experience different fears. We cannot get rid of them; we can\u2019t uproot them. But we can learn to make those fears smaller, to tame them, to rationalize them,\u201d family educator and counselor Dr. Marta Majorczyk tells us. She explains how to handle this in practice \u2014 especially when it comes to the fear of adulthood.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":258,"featured_media":14814,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[434],"tags":[711,636,829,1822,1140,798,1824,857,1823],"class_list":["post-14811","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humanism","tag-children","tag-education","tag-emotions","tag-fear-of-adulthood","tag-kids","tag-psychology","tag-puberty","tag-teenagers","tag-youth-mental-health"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nFear of adulthood in youth. How to face it.<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Fear of adulthood and responsibility is rising among young people. 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