The worst kind of lie. Are we really having such a hard time?

People from every social group need models of excellence which they can imitate to improve themselves. We need those who set a good example for us. We want to be better and we believe that one day, it will happen. No man does not want to be healthier, richer and more beautiful than they are. Such aspirations seem natural and in harmony with human nature.

Are our lives really so hard?

We are used to saying that life is not easy for us. Of course, looking at our fate objectively, we should not deceive ourselves by claiming that we live worse than our ancestors, but at the end of the day, we do not care much about this at all. The fact that we do not have to chase after game which will later serve as food, does not mean that we live better. Our lives are simpler and easier than before, but they are no better. People are still unhappy, and depressive states are being called a contemporary plague, which even the youngest are succumbing to.

Many of us, while paving the way for our everyday lives, try to adopt attitudes that will make it as effective as possible to achieve the goal of a better life. A better life means a better job, a better partner and better children. It seems that raising the bar is the right assumption in the plan of self-realization. However, one can easily vear off this road and go astray. One of the side effects of striving for the ideal is hypocrisy.

Falsehood and hypocrisy

According to the definition of the Cambridge Dictionary, a hypocrite is “someone who says they have particular moral beliefs but behaves in a way that shows these are not sincere.” It can be said that they is a false, two-faced person. Hypocrisy is synonymous with insincerity and deceit. Sociologist professor Jan Szczepański, in his book “Sprawy ludzkie” (“Human Matters”) writes that: 

“Hypocrisy is inseparable from certain spheres of activity wherever it is a matter of pursuing strong interests, where power, money or interest of the opposite sex are concerned. The hypocrite uses all means to achieve the goal and does not stop at nothing.”

Although it is difficult for us to face the truth, we must admit that hypocrisy is a part of our daily lives. And not at all where big goals or undertakings are concerned. On the contrary. We commit the sin of hypocrisy, for example, by telling a long-unseen friend that they look great, even though they have really gotten old so much that we barely recognize them. Sometimes we shower each other with compliments, praise to the heavens the merits of our loved ones, although in the depths of our hearts, we think the opposite. However, we do not tell the truth out of concern for the other person. 

Being honest doesn’t pay

We don’t want to be honest with others for their good. So we have the right intentions, but ultimately we commit the sin of lying. As can be seen, hypocrisy is a part of our lives. What is more, we already teach it to small children. When our son says to his grandmother during a family meeting: “Your face is so wrinkled!” – we reprimand him. We instruct the child, in addition, we do it ostentatiously in front of everyone, pointing out to them that it is not allowed to address the elderly in this way, and that it is not appropriate. Do we even realize that in this way we are already shaping bad moral attitudes in a very young person? After all, the child cannot distinguish a lie told in good faith. If parents require them to speak untruth, they will learn that such a social attitude is universally demanded and accepted.

All in all, it is not possible for everyone to always tell each other just the truth. This is not only impracticable, for many reasons, but it is also not required. Although we want the truth and try to be guided by it in life, none of us wants to know it, especially about ourselves. After all, no one wants everyone to know our age or weight or, to make things worse, our bank balance, let alone other secrets.

So we come to the paradox of collective life, which says that without hypocrisy life would simply be impossible.

Hypocrisy has become part of our mores

Hypocrisy is also a necessary factor that merges human collectivities and is a part of our customs. Moreover, it is considered a part of a proper upbringing, and someone who does not follow these principles is considered someone brazen, and devoid of manners. Hypocrisy is therefore synonymous with politeness and even courtesy. Sometimes it’s difficult to keep boundaries. Good and evil in our lives must be dosed like seasoning to dishes, too much of both makes food inedible and our lives unbearable.

By telling someone hypocritically, that is, intentionally and deliberately pleasant things, so as not to hurt or worry them, we are doing good, we are committing a praiseworthy act. The criteria for judgment here seem clear: if we fight for a just goal, we do not hesitate to use the sin of hypocrisy, because it does not harm anyone. If this has been the case for thousands of years, and in many societies, why should we not accept it and pass it on to future generations?

Ethicists will answer that one should be vigilant because the boundaries are easily blurred. In addition, manipulation can lead to the achievement of one’s goals at the expense of others. It begins with a positively understood hypocrisy, which is socially acceptable and approved and ends with committing a sin in which the end justifies all means. Where the manipulation of people for evil purposes begins, there is injustice. The hypocrite is well aware that they cannot pretend to be a saint. They can, however, successfully pretend to be a little liar, because a little hypocrisy is the best cover for great hypocrisy.

We are the most hypocritical toward ourselves

Finally, it is worth asking ourselves: Why does hypocrisy play such a great social role? Well, we are the most hypocritical not toward others, but toward ourselves. The most interesting thing is that it results from our mental structure and testifies to our… health. Man must be so because only such an attitude protects them in dealing with the difficulties they encounter in everyday life. The inner anchor in the form of a positive image of oneself is a shield with which it is easier to walk through life.

Hypocrisy is therefore a protective tool that helps to overcome obstacles.

But what if we encounter a hypocrite who wants to hurt us? As always, common sense turns out to be the rescue remedy. Because only reason allows us to control pride, it also liberates us from credulity, which is the basis for the action of hypocrisy in our lives.

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