A Reason to Live: Why Do We Need Purpose in Life?

When looking at the natural world, both animate and inanimate, we witness countless processes aimed at sustaining life. Respiration, reproduction – all these functions serve to ensure the survival of the species. Living things that we describe as mysteriously devoid of consciousness have a fierce determination within them to prolong their existence. Meanwhile, we humans are the only species needing an overarching goal that could motivate us to continue our everyday activities.

Apart from elemental and primitive mechanisms that govern our body, humans have developed a myriad of sophisticated and complex mental structures. The development of the cerebral cortex and the resulting attainment of dominance in nature has put humans at the top of the species hierarchy. However, despite our animal-like instincts, for some reason, our consciousness must have developed a motivational mechanism that gives us the drive to take action so that, in addition to sustaining life, we can discover and improve the world around us.

Drifting Alone

Loneliness is the greatest enemy of humans, who are inherently social. Defined in many different ways, the most acute feelings of loneliness may cause levels of suffering that are comparable to physical pain. Those who have experienced loneliness know that this state is not limited to having nobody around but it also extends to being misunderstood or lacking feelings of acceptance and tolerance.

Deprived of social support, a person becomes a lonely sailing boat drifting without a clear purpose. Loneliness prevents the fulfillment of essential human needs such as the need for recognition, respect, acceptance, love and intimacy. People who find themselves isolated lose their ability to socialize, and they are characterized by alexithymia, which means that they are unable to recognize or express their own emotions.

The empathy and responsiveness of others are like a mirror providing feedback on whether our behavior is appropriate. We might be personally convinced that we are right; however, by confronting our views with the opinions of others, we can reassure ourselves that our objectives are legitimate and we are important and needed. For this very reason, we need another human being to navigate the world. Without the company of other people, we slowly lose ourselves in sadness and bitterness.

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Fear and Freedom

Paradoxically, fear is a primary factor that motivates humans to live. The process of dying, which is shrouded in mystery, and our lack of knowledge of whether there is life after death encourages us to do everything possible to extend our existence.

Human civilization has developed numerous mechanisms to help us deal with our fear of death and continue our daily lives. One such method is religion. The allegiance to the principles we profess and the promise of life after death have a motivating effect and allow us to believe that if we are faithful enough to the moral systems we have adopted, we will receive a reward after death. We find it difficult to accept that we will cease to exist and that our consciousness will simply dissolve into non-existence once we die. We seek reassurance that when we leave this earthly life, we will metaphysically transform into an immortal being.

Eternity is a concept that has a considerable impact on the human imagination. It enables us to spin visions and imagine a life of eternal happiness in our own version of paradise. We will no longer be restricted by the prospect of death and, ultimately, by the fear that everything we do and experience will one day come to an end.

The prospect of infinite time also has a function that regulates human behavior. Adopting a particular belief system usually results in identifying with a particular moral system that defines whether our actions are decent or wrong. The observance of sanctioned doctrines will provide us with a reward; however, if we dare to oppose the higher power, we will be punished.

Most norms imposed by the largest religious systems in the world are consistent with the universal ethical principles which apply to humans because of their dignity as living beings.

The emergence of societies has led to the adoption of specific functions and roles by mutual agreement, enabling harmonious cooperation and civilizational advancement. Consequently, we have both personal goals as individuals and collective goals as a society that sometimes force us to adopt a compromising stance. This attitude is founded on the principle that “my freedom ends where the freedom of others begins.”

Love

All humans wish to be close to someone while enjoying the respect and unconditional acceptance of other people. In addition to the natural instinct to prolong our lives, we have a great need for love inside us. There have been countless attempts to describe this particular feeling throughout the history of the world. Love is defined as a feeling, or rather a set of elevated emotions that bring us pleasure. Moreover, love is about principles and attitudes that guide our behavior.

We only want what’s best for those we have an affection for. It could be said that we integrate ourselves with the people we love, and we protect them as a part of ourselves. Regardless of whether we love our partner, our children, or our brothers or sisters – our feelings of fondness give us the motivation to act. This could be the desire to provide our offspring with the best possible standards of living. This could also be the need to show affection and ensure stability and a feeling of safety by declaring an ongoing commitment to the relationship.

Such behavior is gratifying for both the addresses of our commitment and ourselves. The belief that our lives also benefit others strengthens our mental structures, enhancing our sense of happiness, self-fulfillment and satisfaction.

Photo Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels

Self-actualization

Crowning Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, self-actualization is a state we can only achieve when we feel safe and loved and when our need for belonging has been satisfied. This most challenging goal often exists only in our subconscious until we have satisfied our other, lower-level needs. Only once we achieve everything to secure our everyday existence and our emotional life can be defined as full and satisfying can we embark on the process aimed at self-growth.

Such behavior should by no means be considered egocentric, as we harm nobody while meeting our need for self-actualization. Instead, we adopt the perspective of someone who, while living in social harmony, fulfills accepted ethical and moral standards and focuses on achieving eudaimonia (i.e. an inner sense of happiness and well-being), which is expressed in meeting our longing for beauty and harmony and realizing our potential, which exists in our consciousness.

By investing in ourselves and meeting our cognitive needs, we exert a positive influence on the systems within which every individual functions: the family, the local community and the nation. The pursuit of excellence that is devoid of egoism allows us to draw satisfaction from our lives and, contrary to the zero-sum theory, does not deplete the resources of other people but instead adds value to the shared civilizational achievements.

Allow Yourself To Be Found

Difficult experiences that make us lose trust in other human beings, the lack of secure attachments in childhood and the sense of being misunderstood cause increasing numbers of people to feel lost. People start to feel disoriented and lose track of their sense of purpose.

If we take the risk and simply allow ourselves to be found by other people, perhaps, through satisfying relationships, we will discover within ourselves the potential for growth, self-actualization and love that will enable us to feel fulfilled so that we can contribute to society as a whole.

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Published by

Krzysztof Zaniewski

Author


A careful observer of reality, a musician, who likes philosophical considerations as a hobby, and professionally works therapeutically with children and youth, from whom he draws inspiration and positive energy. The proud owner of the dog Isolde, who is an example of unconditional love. A passionate admirer of Richard Wagner.

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