JOMO – A New Path to Happiness? Why You Should Let Go Sometimes

What JOMO Is and Why It is Becoming Popular

The pandemic is credited with teaching us to adapt better to functioning in the online world. After it ended, we realized we could execute many areas of our lives just as well in the virtual world as in the real world. E-lectures, e-shopping, e-medical consultations, and even e-workouts quickly became daily practices.

Life became more convenient, time-efficient, more productive, and effective. However, as is usually the case, every coin has two sides. Suddenly, in many industries, the boundaries between professional and private time started to blur. The fact that we became more readily available and efficient was, and still is, particularly valuable for supervisors. For employees, though, this was not necessarily true.

Maintaining contacts, establishing new acquaintances, performing subsequent duties, tasks, and ordinary daily activities in the online space is now, a few years after the pandemic, the standard and an “obvious certainty.”

The Beginning of the Digital Crisis

We adapted so well that we did not even notice when the situation began to spiral out of our control. We are currently at a point where we can execute most of our daily activities online. Consequently, the result of being constantly available and ready to check emails and communicators—and then replying and reacting—became a source of tension and internal anxiety (FOMO – the distressing fear of missing out on something online).

Moreover, whatever overwhelms us eventually starts to irritate, anger, and frustrate us. Therefore, we face two very specific types of fatigue daily: networking fatigue and social media fatigue.

Why You Should Let Go Sometimes: The Psychology of JOMO

Thus, on the grounds of FOMO, a new phenomenon emerged—or rather, a new social attitude—reflecting the existential situation of many contemporary people, hidden under the acronym: JOMO. Interestingly, this term first appeared in circulation even before the pandemic, in 2015, thanks to Christina Crook’s book, The Joy of Missing Out: Finding Balance in a Wired World.

However, it gained popularity and clarity thanks to the experiences the years 2020–2023 brought us. JOMO, literally translating to “the joy of missing out/being out of time,” proved to be an antidote to overstimulation. It became the answer to others’ constant expectation of being perpetually available online.

JOMO Is a Conscious Choice, Not an Escape

How to Regain Peace? In practice, the JOMO attitude means replacing the chase for news and knowledge updates on the internet with a conscious choice of tranquility. We exchange the stress accompanying the internal compulsion to stay current—and the fear of lagging behind others—for rest and temporary “disconnection.”

The resulting re-framing of thinking involves finding satisfaction in logging out of social media. Consequently, this means consciously giving up the excess of stimuli.

The attitude of “letting go of the need to be current” helps you regain control over shaping your own life according to your own needs, not according to the dictates of the outside world. The effect is a restoration of internal balance and achieving equilibrium between offline and online life.

Finding Your Calm: Practical JOMO for Every Day

The fundamental principle is: focus on what is important to me, not on what others expect of me or what is important to everyone. The need for inner alignment has replaced the mental rat race. Likewise, satisfaction with the ability to be outside the virtual world has emerged.

To understand how to regain peace through JOMO, it is helpful to provide concrete examples of its application in our daily functioning. This can help individuals test whether such an attitude truly helps a person rest from the influx of information and free themselves from the expectations and demands of others today.

• We do not have to accept every social media invitation or participate in every online activity people encourage us to join. I decide. I choose. Consciously communicating “no” means selecting the friends and events that I believe are important to me.
• If your phone constantly sends notifications or rings every minute, you can always turn off the sound or put the phone away in a distant place altogether. The world will not collapse if you choose silence and peace for a few hours. A so-called digital detox can very positively affect a person’s mental and emotional well-being.
• An offline evening or weekend is neither unrealistic nor unattainable. I choose whether I want and can disconnect from social media for a defined time and fill the time with another type of brain activity instead of scrolling, such as reading a book, going for a walk, or cooking.
• Home rituals and practicing hobbies are not a naive slogan for our psyche; they are often a life-giving distance. They allow us to redirect our attention, neuronal activity, and bodily reactions to entirely different areas of life.

Psychologists also emphasize the importance of JOMO in shaping relationships with people: prioritizing quality over quantity.

Instead of participating in dozens of meetings, gatherings, consultations, etc., you should choose the closest and truly necessary ones. Most importantly: choose those where you have the conscious, deep conviction that you WANT to participate. Replying to every message on multiple communicators does not have to happen here, now, immediately. Some messages can wait. The matter will not disappear, and you will gain time to provide a calm and thoughtful answer.

JOMO Traps – What You Must Remember

The key to grasping the essence of JOMO is conscious choice, which in this case means giving things up without a feeling of loss. The joy and inner peace that a specific selection serves your well-being is crucial. You choose for yourself: to feel better, function better, and be healthier.

How to Regain Peace: Watch Out for Avoidance and Isolation

If we adopt this lifestyle, we must also be aware that a trap can be hidden in any attitude. The vision of “the joy of missing out” can indeed be confused with an avoidant or even anxious stance. This is precisely why conscious letting go and selection of information and stimuli is so important.

Sometimes, under the banner of “I choose peace,” one might be hiding an escape from a specific challenge or trial. It might be the fear of failure or the judgment of others. Too frequent and prolonged use of JOMO can also turn into a habit. It may become a comfortable routine leading to the habitual abandonment of everything that requires any effort from you.

Online–Offline Balance Is Key

In the long run, the consequence of this can be gradual isolation from people, contact with them, and relationship building. Ultimately: loneliness. That is why it is so important to observe yourself carefully: your motivation and internal mechanisms. You should ask yourself: “Am I letting go because I need it at this moment? Or because I am afraid or I simply do not feel like it?”

A good guideline can be clearly and distinctly organizing your priorities in the spirit of the question: “Am I doing something for myself—for my development and my health, or to please others?” However, awareness of balance in daily functioning between being offline and being online may prove crucial. JOMO does not mean completely cutting yourself off from the world. It means limiting the stimuli that do not serve you.

Balance and Conscious Choice – The Essence of JOMO

In a world dominated by a wild rush for novelty, where “staying current” has become the priority, it is worth stopping and reflecting sometimes. You should ask yourself whether this lifestyle truly serves you and whether this life scenario gives you a feeling of fulfillment and satisfaction. Learning how to regain peace is fundamentally about making those conscious choices that lead to a life well-lived, on your own terms.

Read the original article in Polish: JOMO – nowy sposób na szczęście? Dlaczego warto czasem odpuszczać