How to Like Someone? Let Your Imagination Do the Work

Imagination is more powerful than we realize

It might sound like a joke, but it actually works. If you care about establishing a positive connection with someone you haven’t met yet, imagine your first meeting in a positive light. This simple and seemingly insignificant act will make you more likely to genuinely like them when you finally meet. What’s more, these positive associations can stay in our memory for a longer time.

This conclusion comes from a study conducted by an international team of scientists from the USA and Germany. The researchers utilized established knowledge that human memory and imagination function in very similar ways. Since these similarities exist, people can learn not only through memories of the past but also through the visualization of the future.

While this may sound far-fetched, the scientists decided to verify their theories empirically.

What exactly did the researchers test?

Volunteers invited to the study were asked to rank a list of 30 people they knew—from those they liked most to those they felt an aversion toward. Then, participants were asked to spend a few seconds imagining encounters with people they had rated as “neutral.”

One group imagined pleasant, positive situations, while another group visualized unpleasant or negative ones. During the study, brain activity was monitored using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI).

The result? Definitive

Individuals who had previously imagined a positive meeting began to report greater sympathy toward those people. Importantly, these were not just subjective feelings. Brain scans confirmed changes in the areas responsible for emotions and memory.

Simply put: the brain reacted as if the meeting had actually happened.

Why does the brain react this way?

During visualization, the so-called “reward system” is activated—an area of the brain associated with pleasure and the storage of memories. This is why imagined but pleasant events can leave a trace in our minds similar to a real experience.

“This helps explain how imagining future event scenarios, such as a conversation, a social gathering, or a difficult situation, can influence our motivation, avoidance tendencies, and subsequent choices,”

– said Aroma Dabas, one of the study’s authors, quoted by the Max Planck Institute.

The results, published in the scientific journal Nature, allow for conclusions that are highly practical in everyday life.

How to use this in daily life

This simple rule can be applied in many situations:

• When meeting new people.
• At work, when a new person joins the team.
• In family relationships, which can sometimes be tense.
• Even when we are changing our own environment.

In summary, sometimes it is enough to imagine a calm conversation or a pleasant time spent together to approach another person with less distance and emotional coldness.

A simple trick that can help a lot

A brief, thirty-second visualization of a friendly encounter can be particularly helpful in contacts with people where future relations could theoretically be difficult. For example, during the first meeting between a future daughter-in-law and mother-in-law, or in dealings with a boss who has a reputation for being difficult.

Imagination helps—but not always

If someone struggles with anxiety, especially social anxiety, visualizing pleasant moments can help break through fear and feel better before facing the real situation. However, it is a double-edged sword: it can help, but it can also hinder. When?

In cases of depression or severe anxiety, visualization can have the opposite effect—the brain often suggests negative scenarios instead. In such situations, it is better to remain cautious and seek professional support.

Relationships begin in our heads

Although we build relationships in the real world, much depends on the attitude we bring to them. Latest research shows that imagination can play a larger role in this process than we suspected. Sometimes, before we judge another person, it is worth taking a moment to consider how to build good relationships from the inside out—and simply let your imagination do the work.

Read this article in Polish: Jak kogoś polubić? Pozwól działać wyobraźni