Loneliness, Frustration and a Lack of Role Models: What’s the Deal with the Masculinity Crisis?

Should we worry about the condition of the male part of the population? After all, most of the world’s heads of state and members of parliaments are still men. Moreover, a simple analysis of the 2020 S&P 500 index showed that there are more people named Michael or James on the list of CEOs than women. As one can see, women still struggle with discrimination and decades of male dominance, yet the vast majority of men also remain cut off from this type of power and respect. If a crisis of masculinity is taking place, its origins cannot be traced to one phenomenon. It is worth realizing that the social response to the crisis of masculinity will have political consequences.

Where to Look for the Causes of the Crisis?

The fact is that deindustrialization and automation are changing the labor market to the disadvantage of men – the demand for physical work is regularly decreasing, while soft skills are sought more and more often. In recent years, women have significantly increased their representation at Polish universities: They obtain a master’s degree twice as often as men. At doctoral level, they have already achieved a slight advantage. The percentage of women among new habilitated doctors and professors has also increased significantly. In addition, in 2023 the wage gap in Poland has amounted to only 4.5%, against an EU average of 12.7%.

Women are becoming more and more mobile (more often they go to larger centers) and selective in the matrimonial market, which contributes to the increase in the number of single young men. For example, in Bytom, the Polish Central Statistical Office recorded a 26% surplus of single men in 2021, in Sosnowiec it stood at 25.4%, while in Radom and Częstochowa at around 22%. Men are more likely than women to take their own lives (out of 5,018 suicides in 2022, as many as 4,261 were committed by men), and are more likely to be victims of alcohol and drug abuse.

The last half century has been revolutionary for women: The feminist movement has encouraged women and contributed significantly to redefining their role and place in modern society. Additionally, new academic fields have been created at universities to theorize about gender and to uncover the unknown history of women. Unfortunately, nothing similar has been made on the male side, and the world is changing and becoming alien to both sexes in the same way.

Crisis of Authority

A little over 20 years ago, anthropologist David D. Gilmore published his book “Manhood in the Making: Cultural Concepts of Masculinity,” in which he stated that almost all societies had their conception of “real” or “mature” masculinity, which was seen as a valuable and necessary ideal. If we look at male internet pop culture today, we will find a surprisingly large number of suspicious dudes, who shock with a stereotypical, even caricatural, vision of masculinity.

Last year brought a significant increase in the popularity of Andrew Tate, kickboxer and former participant of “Big Brother.” His extreme misogyny led to his account being banned on TikTok, Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. His advice on becoming an alpha male attracts a host of teenage boys. As a result, some schools in the United States have disseminated information on how to counteract his “lessons” and discourage the youngest to his person.

A similar vision of masculinity was presented in a documentary entitled “The End of Men” by former Fox News host Tucker Carlson. The trailer of his film conquered the internet in the spring of 2022. On the screen we observe muscular figures who, without T-shirts, flip large tires, do friendly wrestling, shoot with guns, arm wrestle and drink raw eggs.

A significant part of feminists and progressively-oriented publicists ignore the strength and influence of the new toxic male movements. However, if such proposals did not strike a chord with male identity, they certainly would not have gained such high popularity online. As Christine Emba, a regular columnist for The Washington Post rightly points out: “People need codes that define how to be human. And when they can’t find them easily, they adopt whatever is offered to them, no matter what the premises are behind it.”

When young men seek answers to their vexed questions, these easily assimilable patterns are ready-made scenarios for becoming a man. Their creed is not particularly sophisticated, but it treats young boys more seriously and gives any answers, instead of the trivial “be yourself.” Tucker Carlson, Jordan Peterson, and Joe Rogan say to their young fans: Get fit, get skills, talk to women instead of watching porn all day. In addition, the community that creates internet fandoms around the authors can act as a safe social bubble and buffer against an increasingly atomized world.

Non-Toxic Masculinity: Meaning What?

For some time, the press and politicians have been more and more willing to use the hurtful simplification of equating a man with an oppressor. Whereas showing traits that have so far been identified with the male side, such as assertiveness, independence and more frequent risk-taking, has become a minor contribution to the criticism of toxic masculinity. In that case, how should a modern, non-toxic man behave? 

Today’s vision of “non-toxic” masculinity is more like stereotypical and conservative femininity than a redefined and modern-adapted version of masculinity: Men should learn to be more sensitive, have to cry from time to time, and become more socially fit. It’s the equivalent of “Learn to code!” as a solution for those who are struggling with difficulties in the labor market. This type of advice has both an element of disregard and contempt for the individual.

The Crisis of Masculinity Will Not Be Solved by Men Themselves

Indeed, for many, it is difficult to be a man in the age of exhaustion of traditional masculine values. However, this does not mean that there is no need for men at all. A trustworthy partner, a loving brother, and a helpful friend are male roles that have not yet been annexed by the ideological war of the sexes. 

According to the 2021 American Perspectives Survey, 15% of men do not even have a single close friend; 28% of men under the age of 30 say they do not have close social contacts, meaning they have not had a meaningful conversation in the last six months. Why is this so important in the context of masculinity? Boys and men who do not have positive male role models around them tend to do less well in adult life. A study by Harvard economist Raj Chetty found that boys who grew up in neighborhoods in which there were more fathers, even if they were not their biological fathers, had a much better chance of social advancement in adulthood.

Christine Emba, the author of the book “Rethinking Sex: A Provocation” finds a way out of the crisis of manhood in increased work with the characteristic masculine traits and archetypes that already exist, but that are still in collision with the feminist notion of agency and strength. This type of cultural change is one of the reasons why it can take a long time to recover from the crisis of masculinity: Supporting positive representations of masculinity requires relationships and mentoring at the individual level in a way that cannot be enforced on men legally. Fathers in popular culture are still often stereotypically perceived as non-dedicated and wimpy, which creates a new archetype of “soft daddies.” According to Christine Emba, such qualities as risk-taking, strength, self-control, family protection, and procreation should become seen as pro-social, to help not only men but also women in the fight for the common good and a better future.

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