Family Roots: A Wellspring of Self-Assurance

Genealogical Hype: The Rush to Uncover Family Roots

In the upcoming film A Real Pain, slated for October release in Poland, Kieran Culkin and Jesse Eisenberg portray American cousins of Polish descent visiting Poland after their grandmother’s death. The script, based on the director’s (Eisenberg’s) true story, exemplifies a growing trend. Similarly, the French comedy Meet the In-Laws revolves around a gathering where prospective in-laws undergo tests to determine their ancestral origins. The viral YouTube sensation The DNA Journey captures poignant reactions as individuals discover ancestral ties to countries they may have previously disdained.

DNA tests tracing the geographical origins of genetic fragments have surged in popularity. While some dismiss this as a fad, for others, it provides crucial insights into their present circumstances. Many contemporary individual therapies focus on uncovering transgenerational traumas – past family hardships that may elucidate current relational issues.

Experts remain divided on the heritability of conditions such as anxiety, particularly in Holocaust survivors’ descendants. Hungarian psychologist and psychotherapist Noémi Orvos-Tóth, in her recent book Inherited Fate, champions the concept of inherited trauma. She cites Rachel Yehuda, a New York researcher who documented trauma inheritance in 2017. Orvos-Tóth’s book presents numerous case studies of patients inheriting ancestral anxiety disorders or propensities for worry.

The Nuances of Family Narratives

The debate over “neuronal inheritance of trauma” may be overshadowing a simpler explanation: the specific anxious or non-anxious child-rearing methods, and more crucially, the narratives about world perception within individual families.

Andreas Feldmár, a prominent Hungarian psychotherapist based in Canada, posits that parents literally hypnotize their children, with early experiences reaching young minds through parental filters. Parental attitudes serve as the primary template for a child’s worldview construction.

Researchers have noted distinct family narratives. Some are “victorious,” confidently perceiving their place in the world, while others presume failure and view reality as inherently unfair.

More intriguing than the debate on trauma heritability are the findings of family ritual specialists Marshall Duke and Robyn Fivush from Emory University. Their research aimed to examine the social construction of autobiographical memory, hypothesizing that children familiar with their family history might gain an evolutionary advantage over peers. In essence, the study sought to demonstrate that individuals who know their roots tend to fare better in life.

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Does Family History Knowledge Confer an Advantage?

Duke and Fivush’s early 21st-century study of 50 New York families involved home visits and questioning children about their family histories. They also observed family dynamics, particularly during shared meals. The approximately 20 questions ranged from how their parents and grandparents met to the origins of their names and their parents’ educational experiences. Did they know which schools their parents attended, what awards they received, or which subjects they enjoyed? Did they know which family member they most resembled?

The findings were intriguing. Children with more extensive family knowledge demonstrated higher self-esteem. The researchers showed that awareness of family history and roots correlates with a greater sense of security during challenging life moments. Anxiety and mental disorders were less prevalent among children familiar with their past. These children exhibited stronger belief in their ability to overcome difficulties. Notably, two months after the study, the 9/11 attacks occurred. Follow-up visits revealed that children with better knowledge of their roots appeared more resilient in face of the traumatic events.

Agata Paszowska-Mikuła, a psychologist and therapist from Warsaw’s Relacje Center, finds these results unsurprising. She emphasizes the immense value of grandparental bonds and knowledge of their lives for children.

“Grandparents are part of the grandchild’s physical and emotional DNA,” she states. “It’s crucial for children to have memories of grandparents, even great-grandparents. This provides continuity to their life narrative. If memory ends with parents’ biographies, it’s a short memory. In a broader context, referencing ancestors’ biographies when recounting family history to children is beneficial. No one can take away our self-memories,” Paszowska-Mikuła notes.

“If children’s consciousness includes memories of grandparents, great-grandparents, and parents, it will be a unique value for personality and identity, despite changing times and accelerating reality.”

Mere Recitation of Family History Insufficient

The path to children’s emotional stability is not as simple as narrating family histories and quizzing them afterward. Family stories are not akin to mathematics or geography. Researchers emphasize that the context in which this learning occurs is paramount. As Noémi Orvos-Tóth underscores in her book Inherited Fate:

“Family histories are not neatly packaged in a box; they are recounted and repeated on numerous occasions. For instance, when a family gathers for dinner, they neither scroll through mobile phones nor watch television, but listen to one another.”

It is during these moments that stories of grandparents’ lives flow freely, interwoven with anecdotes. They can overlap with different storylines at times, or they can repeat themselves, but they spontaneously create a shared experience for the family gathered around the table. Incidentally, other studies suggest that these shared meals and togetherness serve as an effective antidote to adolescent depression.

The challenge lies in the declining frequency of families dining together. Perhaps allocating time for this, at least during holidays, could be a step in the right direction.

Translation: Klaudia Tarasiewicz

Polish version: Rodzina to jest siła. Dzieci znające swoje korzenie są pewniejsze siebie