The Stranger We Choose to Help, and the Signals We Trust

Why we help others, even when we know so little

When we meet a stranger who needs support, we often decide within moments whether to help. Tone of voice, manner, or the outline of the situation may be enough for us to form an opinion about another person. That first impression can later influence our response.

Not all signals sent by a stranger matter to us in the same way. A study by the Japanese psychologist Ryo Oda suggests that signals we associate with kindness and responsibility may play a particularly important role.

In the experiment, whose results were published in Evolutionary Psychological Science, 120 people from Japan evaluated 40 fictional profiles of strangers. The profiles differed in the intensity of 4 traits from the popular Big Five model: openness, extraversion, conscientiousness, and agreeableness.

Participants indicated whether they would be willing to support a given person in a situation where that person needed financial help, was struggling with heavy luggage, was looking for someone to talk to, or faced a life-threatening situation at a railway crossing. They also assessed how much they liked the person described and whether that person seemed friendly.

Not every positive trait works in the same way

The participants’ answers formed a clear pattern. Profiles of people presented as more agreeable and more conscientious prompted a greater willingness to provide support. No similar link appeared in the case of openness or extraversion.

In personality psychology, agreeableness is associated, among other things, with empathy, trust, and a tendency to cooperate. Conscientiousness, in turn, includes responsibility, self-discipline, and reliability. Both traits can create the image of a person who seems more trustworthy and predictable.

We are more willing to help people we like

The results suggest that liking played an important role. Strangers described as more agreeable and conscientious were evaluated more positively, and greater liking was linked with a greater declared willingness to help.

This does not mean that in everyday situations we consciously assess who deserves support. Rather, the findings suggest that under conditions of uncertainty, we quickly form an opinion about another person. We do not know the stranger’s story. We do not know how they will behave in the future. So we rely on limited signals and assess whether the person seems kind, responsible, predictable, or worthy of trust.

First impressions matter

In real encounters, of course, we do not receive ready-made personality profiles. Instead, we pick up small signals: the way someone talks about their problem, tone of voice, behavior, and sometimes a single piece of information about their situation. These signals do not allow us to read a person’s character reliably, but they may be enough to stir sympathy or distrust.

This is not the only mechanism that shapes our willingness to help. In an article published in Social Issues and Policy Review, psychologists Nancy Eisenberg, Natalie D. Eggum, and Laura Di Giunta discuss research on empathy, sympathy, and prosocial behavior. The authors indicate that sympathy in particular — concern for a person in a difficult situation — is linked with a greater tendency to act on behalf of others.

There is therefore no single answer to the question of why we help others. When we know little about the person asking for support, their situation may not be the only thing that matters. First impressions may matter too. Signals associated with kindness, willingness to cooperate, and responsibility help us quickly form an opinion about a stranger. They may also make that person seem more likable and, as a result, increase our declared willingness to help.

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